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April 15 2018

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In and outside.  The cool surrounding air flows through my nostrils, down my throat, filling my lungs.  The constant buzzing comprehension of the thoughts that fill up my daily life exists there.  It blends with the atmosphere and I slowly squeeze it from my body.


I really feel my skin using the mat that links me to the ground.  My eyes are heavy, I believe somewhat warm, there is a nuisance in my left foot, so I'm content emotionally, thinking of dubbed anime.  The atmosphere engulfs these sensations creating a pool of my own self-awareness.Out.  The swimming exits my lungs, up my throat, through my mouth I let the focus to the many happenings of the physique.  There is a calming ease that falls into me and ripples during when I uncoil such as this.

In.  Through my head, down my throat, filling my lungs.   I'm honestly doing so great at the moment.  Oh, crap this constantly occurs.  Out.  Clearing my lungs, my throat up, through my own mouth.  I envision the air as a glowing yellow filled with the pure nature of the fresh and expunged thought.  It happened and I utilize the residual attention to enhance my awareness of my breath.In.  Down my uterus, down my throat, filling my lungs.Out.  From my lungs, beyond my throat, through my own mouth.  I push any attention I have left of the entire body.  The little twitches and respective reminders of what's happening in this item.In.  Down my nostrils, beyond my neck, into my own lungs.  Out.  From my lungs, beyond my neck, through my own mouth. 

In.  Down my nostrils, past my throat, to my own lungs.  Out.  Out of my lungs, past my neck, through my mouth.  In.  Out.I've lost the bounds between myself and the distance around me.  I really don't know just how long it's been.  It's not important, defining things in a rigorous sense doesn't matter.  I am a nothing, observing a constantly circulating stream of air that goes in a specific pattern from here to there.  Some time passes.  This continues until it does not because the atmosphere is gone.

Violently I rip from this scene and crash back to my self-shattering my attention into nice shards that I haphazardly fling at all happening all around me.  This is wrong.  I visit monochromatic blocks of aliens around my entire body organized as if they are staring down at me.  My skin informs me I'm completely submerged in a bathtub of water but I sense myself falling in a speed I've only felt close whilst stirring.  

By instinct, I have a deep breath of this sour falling water.As when there was a change of this lighting, I see that the ceiling of the studio.  I'm lying down  nonetheless in Dead Person's present, breathing in and out.
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 If she was not taking Yoga to get a PE charge she'd have given up by now, except for the sake of her grade, she had to try.You just shut your eyes and you let go and float off, correct? 

How difficult can it cease thinking?Janet never stopped believing.  She as an A+ only kinda gal and she WAS going to Harvard the next year and if she had to believe 24 hours each day to make that happen she'd do it. 

She would give up food and sleep, but she wasn't gonna give up Harvard.

She did not like yoga. 

She lived in her head, not her body.

She attempted to meditate. 

She tried to interrupt her endless stream of stressful consciousness.

She strove to meditate for a moment it seemed to work and it was a frightening moment.The following day, Janet tried to forget what she found in the space of that moment: But she could not think of anything else.  It began affecting her studies.

One day she announced to her parents that she wasn't using to Harvard.Janet did many things with her life and was finally quite satisfied.  She had just one child, a daughter.

But that thing she watched got passed into the infant.  The infant lived her entire life with that moment in her mind.  And she passed it to her son, and that is why I am telling you this story because I am your daddy and I understand you watched it also.  I want you to know you aren't mad.  I want you to know it's real.
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